Memories

Your memory is not as good as you think it is. That’s a hard lesson to learn, but once you accept it, life actually gets easier. I’ve noticed that I remember how bad the “bad” things were, but I don’t always remember the good as clearly. And the bad tends to look even worse in the rearview mirror — I forget the context, the circumstances, all the surrounding pieces that were part of the real story.

There’s so much I’ve simply forgotten over the years. Some of it is gone forever; some comes back only when a person or a place reminds me. I cherish the memories I’ve kept, because sometimes they’re all I have left of the past.

Here’s the thing to watch out for: a lot of people live their whole lives carrying baggage tied to a single memory. They can’t recall the whole event — just fragments — and those fragments hold them hostage for years. And it isn’t always a bad memory that traps someone. Sometimes it’s a good one. You know the type — the people who “peaked” in high school and never wanted to leave it: the football star, the girl who always had a boyfriend, the guy with the coolest car. A good memory can hold you back just as surely as a bad one, if you let it become the best thing that ever happened to you.

So as you go forward, don’t rely on memory alone. Much of what happened to you as a child, you remember through a child’s eyes — sometimes that’s sweet, sometimes it’s distorted. When something from the past is weighing on you, ask the people who were there what they remember. Everyone’s version will be a little different, and that’s exactly the point: there was always more to the story than the piece you’re holding.

Getting other perspectives will keep you free — free from both the bad memories and the good ones that can quietly hold you back from becoming everything God made you to be.